"And if you say your prayers You will make God happy And if you do what's true You will make me happy I'll keep you in a jar And you will seem happy I'll give you breathing holes You will think you're happy, now
You're in a laundry room You're in a laundry room You're in a laundry room
And if you save yourself You will make him happy He'll bring you fine rewards Then you will feel happy I'll keep you in my room I'm sure you'll be happy And if you save your soul You will think you're happy now
You're in a laundry room You're in a laundry room You're in a laundry room You're in a laundry room"
Strange things happen to the mind when you listen to one single song on repeat throughout the early hours of the morning. You’re in a laundry room, you’re in a laundry room. I’ve almost come to believe it myself. I am the underappreciated family appliance often found hidden in the furthest recesses of the abode. Maybe I’m the pile of dirty clothes placed haphazardly before the aforementioned washing machine. All I know is that I’m in the laundry room, and I think I’m happy now.
In fact I haven’t felt this positive and motivated creatively for what seems awhile, it’s like I was part time, player 4, only there to fill seats. It felt disorientating and new in a way I neither expected nor was prepared for. This new change in life was necessary, I now remember why I became a part of this project and dedicated the last few years to its development.
Society is broken. We can all laugh and cheer often enough to keep us complaisant but you know it’s all fabricated. It’s all an illusion. We literally have no idea of what anything is or is doing and both religion and science only provide popular theories on something completely unknown. It doesn’t make sense, none of it does. I try to look past the obviousness of it all whilst forcing ignorance of the others lack of realisation.
Maybe they hide it better than I am able to?
I moved to Malta in May and for a few months became distracted with a ‘social life’. I was still developing work but at a slower pace than I had been previous to arriving. I wasn’t used to having a social life, I was used to hanging out in the house with Stealth, Mac and Myles and that’s just how it was for a few years. It all felt uncomfortable at first settling back.
I continued working on my story with Jasper based in Malta, I actually took part in extra curriculum activities, and I am now part of a kick boxing team. I’m about to set foot in my ninth country of the year (two being transit stops, two being home countries) and it’s all been enjoyable, but once you stop and look at the whole process they appear as nothing more than distractions in my current situation void of purpose. I feel like I have my purpose back, I’m still lost, I have come to live with that realisation, I figure what would I do once I know where I am anyway.
This is why I do very few blogs, I get distracted before I even start the blog. So, I’m back feeling like a full timer. I had a good summer, summer in the Mediterranean is by no means any less than what’s promised in the holiday brochures but now summer is over, I’ve seen rain for the first time since May, I feel wind coming through the window at night. Things are feeling more normal, the absurdity of 40+ degrees daily is behind us and the heat wave has cleared allowing clarity to return to the mind. When the clarity had returned I found my faith in humanity had once again been lost, and it feels good.
We go round in circles, never getting to any substantial conclusion and we all return to my earlier point in which no one has any idea what is happening within and around us or even if anything is happening at all.
Everything that we perceive as reality is only reality because we have been told it is so. Do we only see objects and actions that we are previously told may occur and these preconceptions are the foundations for what we perceive as reality and life? Have you ever seen anything that no one has mentioned to you before? Not even a word or suggestion, have any of us ever seen anything for the first time? Either none of us have or many of us have but don’t know how to interpret what they saw.
Fucking distractions, I got distracted writing about how annoyed I am at getting distracted.
Chicken box prick
I have been talking to Stealth regularly over Skype the past few weeks and we have started progress on our presentation at this year’s Malta Comic Con which is our next exhibition since Stealth represented the team in Birmingham at the I.C.E. festival a few weeks ago. It went well and even provided us with some innovative ideas to have both of us ‘present’ at future conventions now that we not only live across the continent from each other but are also expanding our audience by visiting numerous countries across Europe rather than focus on British conventions alone. Like all of our ideas, it’s genius.
Jasper and I will be revealing further information about the story we are producing together as part of the ‘From the Ashes’ series, titled ‘Maria’s Song’ which was first revealed at last year’s Malta Comic Con alongside images of the second From the ashes story titled ‘A man and his dog’. Characters are to be introduced as well as...
...I just went to the toilet and whilst there I had a thought and I think it’s something that I need to remember and possibly discuss with further opinion. Right, my thought, or ponder, was ‘Is ‘forgotten’ the only English word that cannot be forgotten?’ Now I know at first it sounds retarded but just swirl it around in your mind for a bit, get a taste of it and fall back into the imaged possibility that we could either test or simply know if this is true. Here are my arguments for the theory that ‘forgotten’ simply is, or is one of, the English words in reality to never actually be able to be forgotten.
1, Generally most people realise they have forgotten something when they either ask themselves, or others ask them questions, what they were thinking of? What is it? Etc and the universal answer is ‘I’ve forgotten’ or at the very least ‘I forgot’ and right there at the very first hurdle the person now remembers that they had forgotten the word ‘forgotten’.
2, Even before the events of point one, if picked up would even prevent point one from occurring, is that generally when someone forgets something the voice (or voices) in our minds go ‘I’ve forgotten something’, oh wait, it’s the word forgotten.
3, If someone still manages to not remember the word ‘Forgotten’ after the previous points then when the question is assumed to be first asked ‘What’ve you forgotten? (Another hint) then the answer would be, ‘The word for when you can’t remember something any more, and the answer would come, ‘forgotten?’ because no more than one person in the world would find themselves in that same predicament at the same moment.
4, As well as the above arguments, i conclude with the final thought; If you cannot for some reason describe the act of forgetting whilst forgetting the word forgotten, then is the word forgotten still forgotten if forgotten and the act of forgetting cannot be made aware to have been forgotten at all?
Just ponder it amongst yourselves for a bit before judging.
...so back to it, Characters will be revealed along further images of the Maltese landscape that will be present within the forthcoming series. We’ve sorted our mismatching numbers of each issue and will be also presenting some new merchandise. There’s a few other things going to be happen but are difficult to explain without just revealing what it is, but there will be pictures
‘This revolution will not be televised’
I was originally thinking of handing out an original short story at Malta Comic Con which relates in some way to the two main ‘From the ashes’ publications, a kind of spin off mini story I can just give away to people but I’m no longer sure I will. I should and I know it won’t take long or be difficult but I’m still not sure I’ll do it. I am currently looking for a massive piece of plywood to cut into a prop for our exhibition. I found a mannequin for our merchandise, I’m writing back stories so people can get more of an insight. All general behind the scenes stuff, but just thinking about it makes me anxious. Life is difficult enough without the pressure of searching for plywood included. People aren’t designed for that, it’s unnatural. On another note, if you do have spare plywood in Malta get in contact with me.
Oh, I will hopefully be handing out some sort of written work at the event, I just wanted to make up that last paragraph so I could write the line ‘life is difficult enough without the pressure of searching for plywood included’. It sounded comical to me.
Apologies again for the further distractions, eventually I just neglect to apologise and my general mood turns from the joyful act of writing a blog to a unanimous sense of animosity towards everyone and anyone that may sacrifice their precious time to read what ramblings have gone through my mind some random Thursday morning. If you use a permanent marker to erase the irrelevant words in my blogs the final piece will look like it has more information censored than the 9/11 report.
...oh no he didn’t...
I think that’s pretty much all the news to do with School of Bitches that I actually wanted to talk about. Birmingham was good and gave us some new ideas. Malta is next and we are currently working on our own parts to get everything ready in advance. This year will be interesting as it’ll be happening in a bigger venue upon the Valletta waterfront, it is always great to catch up with regular guests and it means I get to be back chilling with my boys Stealth and Mac. Months can seem a long time without someone if you’re used to seeing them for the majority of your woken moments. I never care about selling our work at Malta yet it’s where we make the majority of our profits, yet it seems when I try and pull an audience to our work in British events we get no interest. I think there’s some sort of message to me in that story... British comic conventions are wank.
The news about School of Bitches has already been said (except possibly forgotten bits) so if that’s all you came for then you may discontinue reading and I will continue rambling.
I have a thought on the space mission to Mars idea, it’s more of a ‘what if?’ thing really. I read that a load of people are getting thrown up to Mars to start a colony to live when we finally finish fucking the Earth. There seems to be a lot of hope of the future of mankind based on this idea and I was wondering, if the Earth did become truly fucked and we knew our time was extremely limited and Mars was our only hope, and the project didn’t work as no one had survived whilst on or getting to Mars, in this scenario my ponder is do you think those in control of the failed project would reveal to the public that the project doesn’t work and there is no last hope or do you think those in charge of the project would simply send participants to their deaths knowingly?
What would be chosen do you think? You already know the answer. We would exterminate humanity ourselves just to give the illusion of hope.
Also, another thought I’ve been having lately is the questioning of if the Earth actually gives a shit what we do to it in the long run. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t agree with destroying the Earth but the Earth has existed through cosmic explosions, meteorites and ice ages, surely it’ll find a use for the stain we leave behind. In a billion years will there be any evidence of any of us or our ideas having ever existed? Would we even want there to be evidence? How do you think future generations will judge us?
I’ve come to the conclusion of what I wanted to reveal from my mind. Both informative and irrelevant, I aim to please all genres. I am returning to the laundry room.
I’m in a laundry room
And I feel happy now
“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”
Sweet Animosity is the home for all projects and writings undertaken by Dhalia.